APP STORES ARE LAWLESS WASTELANDS May 10, 2024 APPS – PAINTED DOGGIE COMIC Panel 1: Jerri approaches their mother, Foxwolf, who is slumping limply on the couch wearing a hoodie that says “DEPRESSION.” Smiling down at their tablet, Jerri asks, “Hey Mom, can I show you something?” “Sure,” Foxwolf replies, without moving her unfocused gaze from the middle distance. Panel 2: Jerri is grinning ear to ear looking at the screen. “Look what eevee is saying.” Panel 3: Foxwolf takes the tablet and looks down at the screen while Jerri leans over the arm of the couch so they can also see. The background on Jerri’s tablet is a cute but weird, bug-eyed animal with a middle finger on its head. Jerri’s home screen apps include Roblox, YouTube, Spotify, Skype, and Among Us. There’s also a screen overlay app running. It’s the pokemon, Eevee, walking around and leaving little paw prints on the screen. A speech bubble coming from eevee reads, “SUCCESSFUL BEGINNINGS DEMAND STEADY RESOURCES.” Panel 4: Eevee continues to walk around the border of the screen saying various horribly translated inspirational quotes: “LOVE THRIVES IN ADVERSITY. WHISPER SECRETS TO CLOUDS.” “TAKE RISKS; SECOND MOVE DICTATES GROWTH PACE.” “THE PREMATURE BIRD CAPTURES THE WORM, BUT A FLOCK IN THE SKY IS INVALUABLE.” Panel 5: Suddenly eevee vanishes and a tombstone appears at the bottom of the screen. The epitaph says, “EEVEE IS DEAD.” A single flower is blooming in front of the grave. “THANK YOU! PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW,” reads a speech bubble coming from the grave. Panel 6: Foxwolf looks up from the screen at Jerri. Beaming, Jerri looks at their mother and says, “This is definitely stealing all my data.”