Cereal For Dinner

Member when the kellogg's guy said poor people should just eat cereal for dinner to save money and then they ran ads about it? Foxwolf remembers.

Panel 1: The television is broadcasting a news interview with “RICH BASTARDSON – PRISON LABOR PROFITEER.” A graphic on the screen says, “CEREAL FOR DINNER?” Rich is standing outside his palatial home in front of a decorative corporate mascot fountain. In the distance, there are a group of men working the property. A deputy on horseback watches the workers. Rich says, “Listen, poor people can eat shit for all I care. As long as it’s sold by my company, put that shit in your stupid little cart, or whatever you people do, and eat up. You’re welcome.” The news ticker at the top of the screen reads, “STOCKS SKYROCKET AFTER REUSABLE PRODUCTS OUTLAWED FEDERALLY – HOMELESS TO BE EUTHANIZED.”

Panel 2: The broadcast transitions to the interviewer, “REED PORTER – SENIOR OVERLORD PLATFORMER,” who is in the newsroom. A line graph behind him titled, “LINE REPORT – IT GO UP, BUT HOW MORE?” shows an uptrending line. Reed responds, “Rich, I don’t know if you should say that. The poors are really going to hate it. You want to try again?” The news ticker continues across the top: “11-YEAR OLD WHO PUT WHOOPEE CUSHION IN D. A. R. E. OFFICER’S SEAT TO BE PROSECUTED”

Panel 3: The screen cuts back to Rich, whose title card now says, “‘EAT SHIT, POORS.’ – GRAINS AGAINST GROIN GRINDING CEO.” Behind him in the driveway, a delivery truck has arrived. Workers are unloading a large statue of another corporate mascot. Rich yells at them, “Hey BE CAREFUL WITH THAT! Fucking Troglodytes,” and then responds to Reed’s question: “No, Reed, I don’t care. We’re already running the ads.” The news ticker reads, “STATE OFFICIALS ‘RELIEVED’ – GOLF COURSE SPARED IN TRAIN DERAILMENT, 357 DEAD – WAR ON (cut off)”

Panel 4: Houndmage and Foxwolf are sitting on the couch in front of the TV watching the broadcast. Houndmage says, “This guy is really out here just dropping some Marie-Antoinette-ass shit on all our asses. Wow.” Foxwolf responds, “Yeah, history repeats itself.”

Panels 5 & 6: Houndmage and Foxwolf both think, “Hmm… History… repeats itself…” and envision the historical painting of Marie Antionette’s execution with Rich Bastardson’s head on the pike being paraded around the stage. All of the executioners and bystanders cheer and celebrate.

CEREAL FOR DINNER – PAINTED DOGGIE COMIC

Panel 1: The television is broadcasting a news interview with “RICH BASTARDSON – PRISON LABOR PROFITEER.” A graphic on the screen says, “CEREAL FOR DINNER?” Rich is standing outside his palatial home in front of a decorative corporate mascot fountain. In the distance, there are a group of men working the property. A deputy on horseback watches the workers. Rich says, “Listen, poor people can eat shit for all I care. As long as it’s sold by my company, put that shit in your stupid little cart, or whatever you people do, and eat up. You’re welcome.” The news ticker at the top of the screen reads, “STOCKS SKYROCKET AFTER REUSABLE PRODUCTS OUTLAWED FEDERALLY – HOMELESS TO BE EUTHANIZED.”

Panel 2: The broadcast transitions to the interviewer, “REED PORTER – SENIOR OVERLORD PLATFORMER,” who is in the newsroom. A line graph behind him titled, “LINE REPORT – IT GO UP, BUT HOW MORE?” shows an uptrending line. Reed responds, “Rich, I don’t know if you should say that. The poors are really going to hate it. You want to try again?” The news ticker continues across the top: “11-YEAR OLD WHO PUT WHOOPEE CUSHION IN D. A. R. E. OFFICER’S SEAT TO BE PROSECUTED”

Panel 3: The screen cuts back to Rich, whose title card now says, “‘EAT SHIT, POORS.’ – GRAINS AGAINST GROIN GRINDING CEO.” Behind him in the driveway, a delivery truck has arrived. Workers are unloading a large statue of another corporate mascot. Rich yells at them, “Hey BE CAREFUL WITH THAT! Fucking Troglodytes,” and then responds to Reed’s question: “No, Reed, I don’t care. We’re already running the ads.” The news ticker reads, “STATE OFFICIALS ‘RELIEVED’ – GOLF COURSE SPARED IN TRAIN DERAILMENT, 357 DEAD – WAR ON (cut off)”

Panel 4: Houndmage and Foxwolf are sitting on the couch in front of the TV watching the broadcast. Houndmage says, “This guy is really out here just dropping some Marie-Antoinette-ass shit on all our asses. Wow.” Foxwolf responds, “Yeah, history repeats itself.”

Panels 5 & 6: Houndmage and Foxwolf both think, “Hmm… History… repeats itself…” and envision the historical painting of Marie Antionette’s execution with Rich Bastardson’s head on the pike being paraded around the stage. All of the executioners and bystanders cheer and celebrate.